Puttanesca is the quintessential “I’m worn out” feast, as it is primarily comprised of wash room staples:
Canned tomato glue
Squashed tomatoes
Canned anchovies
Bumped olives and escapades
The main slashing required is a smidgen of onion and as much garlic and parsley as you need. You turn the water on to cook the spaghetti, and when the pasta is cooked the sauce is prepared. Done and drinking lager (or doing schoolwork) quickly.